Wednesday, May 4, 2011

3- The ship:

Original Arabic Post was published Jan 18th, 2008: Here

When a ship sinks, people in it are one of three categories;
Category 1: Those who sink and die, weather they tried to swim or not.
Category 2: Those who swim to shore, and live.

All humans, pass between those two moments throughout their lives. When we are depressed, we tend to believe we are weak, we won’t swim, and we will sure sink! Some other times, the fear of failure pushes us into doing our best and swimming really hard.
As for category 3; those who I see the greatest humans ever and those who can actually change history; are the ones who not just swim to the shore, but they actually pull someone with them, someone who is not able to do it for himself!
Every now and then, we go through a moment when we are blindfolded, can’t see any hint of strength in our souls, that we don’t believe we can save ourselves, not to mention save any other person.
But the truth is that we can! Truth is we have to help ourselves, and we also have to help each other. Cause whatever power you have now is no privilege to you!
Humans are closer to forget that any internal power that is inside us is nothing we are to be thanked for. It is what God gives us to be able to go on with life!

Remember when you succeed, that it is so easy to fail!
Remember when you swim, that it takes a moment to sink!

Don’t use your power against those who are weaker than you. It doesn’t mean at all that you are strong!

Each one of us; every week, ever hour, every day; has to pull someone with him. A pull could be a smile, a phone call, a listening ear. A pull could be money. A pull could anything you have, and everything you have.
Just remember that each step you take, you have to pull someone with you.
Just don’t reach the shore alone!
Cause this is being a human,
This is life,
And this is the beauty of humanity!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

2- The Gym

Original Arabic Post: Here

For so many personal, behavioral, and religious reasons, I don’t prefer to go the gym in the mixed – as in men and women – days. So, I go when it is for women only which could be considered a suicidal action for me since I hear so many things that really press on my nerves, such as:

“The nice belly is the one that it below waist, men just love it!”
“Nothing but an enlarged stomach, men just hate that!”
“Do you know Yousra’s side-thighs? My daughter has them, but my daughter isn’t as tall as Yousra. But that’s OK, no man likes his wife to be taller than him!”
“I won’t work on my thighs. Don’t like thin legs. Men don’t like it when the pants are not full with the woman’s thighs. They even mock thin legs so hard!”
“Well it all depends, there are different tastes. Some men actually like the thin woman, a friend of mine is really very thin, and her husband is fine with that and not complaining!”
“May be, but a thin woman looks really bad in night gowns, a woman has to have something here and there!”
“God bless the cup!”
“Oh my fiancée doesn’t eat fish at all!!” “No, it’s your mistake, you have to present it to him in a nice attractive way” – as if it is the end of the world if her fiancée is not eating fish!! – “If only you were me, my fiancée doesn’t eat at all!!”



Now before any misunderstanding, I’m not by any means against the fact that people, women or men, care for their looks. I myself go to the gym for that exact purpose. Nor am I against also feeling flattered when you hear nice complements of any kind. I was so happy by your positive feedback in the comments.

What pisses me off, is when a woman lives all her life waiting to be accredited as a woman from the man! She is not a beautiful woman unless he calls her that, she is not smart except when he describes her with the word, and she won’t be successful before the day he points that out!

And since we all know that a typical man won’t allow a woman to be smarter or more efficient than him, so by default, there’s an umbrella of ambitions above which a woman is not allowed to even think of passing!

Which leads to the major problem that usually makes me suffocate which is this chronic “Underestimation” disease that most of our ladies here suffer from. A very clear example to that, is when I was back in medical school, and it was quite frequent to hear one of my female colleagues saying “If I ever get sick, I’ll never go to a female doctor!!” “Men are you know, smarter, and they are real doctors!” Of course here she was shouting out loud her “declaration of dependence” to the world of men, assuring all of them that it was a known fact that she is clueless, and helpless with them!

To that extent and even more, an Egyptian woman is brought in an environment that deprives her self-esteem, sense of security and confidence. She no longer can feel her existence in absence of a man in her life. Without a man, she is just not complete. And if being accepted by men means saying, feeling and living her lack of her own special gifts, then it is of course fine!!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

1- Introduction!

Original Arabic Post: Here

First of all, we need to know exactly what we are talking about. Who is the spinster? 

Is an expression that includes both males and females to describe who has reached the age of marriage without being married. Though it includes both, but it’s widely used more with females.

Spinsterhood in Egypt
Spinsterhood spreads widely in Egypt. According to official statistics, over 9 million above the age of 35 are not married, of whom 5.5 are males, and 3.5 are females.
17% of Egyptian women in the age of marriage are not married, and the number is increasing. Ratio vary a little depending on the province. Border governorates have 30% because they are controlled by customs and traditions, while Upper Egypt have 27%. Finally Cairo’s number is 27.8%. The reason for the spread of spinsterhood in Egypt is the higher rates of unemployment, the high costs of dowries, housing, etc and the high literacy rate for females!
OK! Let’s move on from all this, and focus on two things; The marriage age, and the female literacy!
When it comes to age, there might be some kind of twisted logic. In Upper Egypt, a 17 yrs old young woman is expected to get married and the 23 one is a spinster. In Cairo, things are OK till 25, a bit of a worry at 27, panic at 27, and despair at 30!
The apparent reason is that a woman in terms of social life has a very short life spam… the menopause is not only the end of the child bearing period for a woman, it’s the end of her life as a woman. Since she can’t be a mom, so she can’t be a wife, hence a woman, and she should be grateful her husband is not looking for an another wife!!
The real reason is that we still, until today, think of a woman as a reward in the man’s life. We keep on stressing on boys to get good education, degree, to get a job, so that when his family takes him to a family asking for their daughter, they need not to be ashamed!
This is the purpose of everything. A man learns to work to save money to get a legal Halal way to be with a woman! To this world, a woman is a wife and a mother, she’s a sex object, a nursing tool, and a free nanny/housekeeper!
 In our society, a spinster is just any and each who is “Single” could be considered a spinster, regardless of her age, because it’s something that depends on the woman herself in her social life and in the community she has been growing up.

The Spinster and her Friends:
-         A spinster is the last person to know about marriage, engagement, pregnancy, new boyfriends, and recent break-ups.
-         A spinster is always the reason for everything bad happening because of her “evil eye”
-         A spinster is a constant source of bad luck!
-         A spinster is never busy or occupied. She doesn’t have a man in her life, which automatically means she almost doesn’t have a life. And so, she should be 24/7 available for her friends upon request, otherwise she is a bad friend!
-         If you’re looking for a “rational” reason for any divorce, miscarriage, hemorrhage, or couples fights, you’re looking for the spinster!
-         A spinster is an e-card in her friends’ lives; She attends weddings, birthdays, children birthdays, funerals, and pays hospital visits. She comes, cries, laughs, dances, and she just a decoration to fill in the social gap called “friends”

 The spinster at work:
-         The spinster at work here is the focus of attention, her ultimate goal from working is to get a husband. If she talks to a single man, she is trying to get him. If she talks to a married man, she’s a home-breaker. If she talks to an engaged man, she’s putting herself in a tight position of being called a bad girl. And if she talks to a younger man, she’s desperate!
-         In case a spinster does anything good, the reward is praying for her to get married, you can find people praying for her “Amender” as if she was in need for such a thing!
-         A spinster who is well-dressed, is a hormonal hysterical single woman who is desperate for a man. And a spinster who is casually-dressed is a stupid woman who doesn’t understand that she should work on making someone may be notice her!

The Spinster and Weddings:
-         At weddings, a spinster is always blamed. If she wears cheerful colorful clothes, then she is desperate. And if she is wearing something simple, then she is depressed because she has no one!
-         If a spinster dances at a wedding, then she is a slut with no lady manners. And if she just sits on her chair quietly then she’s jealous and can’t stand her anger!
-         If the spinster accepts a wedding invitation, it’s because she wants to go to look for a future husband. If she doesn’t accept, then it’s because she is insecure and sensitive about this subject!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

مفاجأة جديدة New Suprise

أتأخرت انا في الاحتفال بعيد ميلاد يوميات عانس حقود عشان كنت بحضر لكم مفاجأة. إن شاء الله السنة دى قررت انى أترجم اليوميات لانجليزي, و اعمل بوست كل فترة لتدوينة جديدة.
الفكرة جاتلى عشان في كثير مش بيتكلموا عربي طلبوا منى ترجمة عشان يقروها. انا عارفة ا نفى كثير في روح الكلام في اللغة المستخدمة, بس هي محاولة لعرض اليوميات مرة ثانية. و منها كمان نفتكر سوا الحقد اللى على أصوله.

انا حابة اشكر داليا ويليام يا جماعة. داليا هي المصممة العبقرية اللى عملت غلاف كتاب يوميات عانس حقود اللى ليسة ماتعملش و مش هابطل احلم انه يتعمل في يوم من الأيام. داليا عملت الغلاف من غير ما يكون في اتفاق مع دار نشر او غيره, و لحد النهاردة شغلها ده محدش شافه و مع ذلك انا شخصيا اللى كاتبة الكلام لو كنت عملت غلاف, ماكنتش هاعمله معبر كده ... شكرا داليا

This year, as to celebrate The Diary of a Sinister Spinster , I'll be posting English translation for the blog posts, one by one.
For Two years, I kept on blogging in this blog and this year, i'm celebrating it's anniversary by starting the English translation.

I'd like to thank Daliam William who designed the book cover, for the book that has not been published yet, when she knew that it would take time for her work to be seen. Yes I haven't done it yet, but I'll never stop dreaming.
This blog is a very important step for me, and I owe it a lot